Caught Up in Comparison? Here Are 5 Things to do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others
First of all, let’s cut right to the chase. We all do it. Comparing yourself to others is more than just a generational hobby for millennials, it’s a mortal affliction. Humans have been doing it since the beginning of time (or at least since my parents were teenagers — because that’s as far back as I bothered to research). My point is, you clicked on this heading for a reason and you probably owe yourself a pat on the back, RN, because recognizing comparisonitis as a real issue is the first step to getting over it.
[kuh m par-uh-suh-nahy-tis]
1. The compulsion to compare oneself to another to determine relative importance, etc.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. You’re not a bad person or a flawed person or a less-than-anyone-else person. You are human. Heck, I’m a champion of self-love and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself playing the comparison game while scrolling through social media, at the gym or at the beach with my girl-gang, or — believe it or not — even at the dinner table surrounded by my family (my brothers’ significant others are v. v. v. beautiful).
What I continue to learn, every single day of my self-love journey, is that I’ve wasted way too much of my precious time worrying about whether or not I measure up to the next girl (or worse, the photoshopped celeb on the cover of a magazine), and way too little time actually reveling in everything that makes me a beautiful human. SO. In order to remedy the situation, I’ve compiled this actionable list of 5 Things to do instead of comparing yourself to others.
1. Remember One Simple Fact
"Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own beauty."
Just because your BFF, sister-in-law, or that girl at the gym are totally drop-dead-freaking-gorgeous in their own ways, does not mean that you are not totally drop-dead-freaking-gorgeous in your own way.
2. Recite a Mantra
Repeat after me: “I am beautiful, I am worthy, and I am more than enough.”
Mantras work if you let them. Repeat the mantra (or any mantra of your choosing) over and over in your head as many times as necessary, until you feel the shift.
3. Remove the Negativity
When you get caught up in the obsession of how perfect her hair is or how long her eyelashes are, or like, her perfect six-pack in that teeny bikini (can you tell I’m speaking from experience here?) you’re effectively disregarding everything that’s so beautiful about you, while simultaneously attaching negative emotions to another woman’s beauty. And that’s just not fair. To either of you.
Remove the negativity by dishing an honest, heartfelt compliment to the subject of your comparisonitis. Instead of feeling bad about the length of your own eyelashes, try something like, “Hey girl, has anyone ever told you how long your eyelashes are? You have beautiful eyes!”
Not only does the act of doling out a compliment take the power out of your own comparisonitits, but it has the dual effect of not only making your complimentee feel good, but also you feel good. Compliments are kind of amazing like that.
4. Focus on One Good Thing
Often, the times we’re most likely to get caught up in comparison is when we’re not feeling particularly great about ourselves. Maybe we’re having a bad body image day (they happen), or we’re suffering from a hormonal breakout. Perhaps we're suffering from the after-affects of a big night out. Whatever it might be, when you catch yourself comparing, shift your focus by taking notice of (at least) one good thing you love about yourself. Keep your focus there until your comparisonitis dissipates.
5. Remember, You’re Human
So, you did it again. You caught yourself wishing you could pull off that wide-legged jumpsuit like your bestie and instead of recognizing the beautiful differences in your bodies, you were too distracted by your inner-mean-girl cussing you out.
Remember, you’re human. You’re not always going to think perfect thoughts about yourself and that’s OKAY. But try to recognize when your inner-mean-girl is mouthing off and kindly tell her to shut the f**k up. Then, revert back to step #1.
You got this, girl.